I’ve been so proud of myself this week, I’ve been going to bed earlier, still not getting up in the mornings but still a little earlier. I’ve been applying for lots of jobs, cleaning my room every day, washing the dishes every day, doing random jobs around the house. So I felt really good and I feel like I’ve really turned a corner but I haven’t been going on about it because I didn’t want to jinx it. 

So today Mum says if I want to go to the town she’s going at 11 to meet some friends. I’m not feeling well but I thought that since I haven’t been out of the house in almost two weeks and incase there are jobs advertised in windows I should go. So I get up while Mums taking the dogs for a walk and get all ready and 11 comes and goes and so does 12 and eventually she comes back and says she was running late so she just had to go. She should have called but she didn’t have her phone so fair enough. I tried calling her too but obviously didn’t work. So anyway then she starts having a go at me cos i was watching tv during the day and she’s like ‘have you nothing else to do??’ and i was like well yeah i was just about to go do my washing after this video. So anyway she keeps going on at me and then she’s all ‘you need to change your ways’. I mean, what the hell do I have to do for people to realise that I have changed and I’m really trying. The only reason she doesn’t know is that she never asks. EVER.

so fuck it. 

oh. and I got one of those lovely rejection letters from a job applied for. awesome.